“Mentally, physically and emotionally we are the same. We each have the potential to good and bad and to be overcome by disturbing emotions such as anger, fear, hatred, suspicion and greed. These emotions can be the cause of many problems. On the other hand if you cultivate loving kindness, compassion and concern for others, there will be no room for anger, hatred and jealousy.” – Dalai Lama
So much going on in the life of Heather. Heather the photographer, Heather the nursing student, Heather the mother, Heather the wife, and Heather the friend. As I sit here, at my nice clean desk, with my daily dose of Greenberry Shakeology, I read that quote over and over again. So many meanings but meanings that need to be clarified in my head.
My business is slow. Not going to lie. It could be better. Am I stretched too thin with other aspects of my life, yes, without a doubt. Am I making the right decisions, maybe, maybe not. Am I good enough to be in this saturated photographer area? Maybe? I like to think that I am. There are so many photographers in the Capital District, SOOOOOO many. All fighting to be successful. I’ll be the first to admit I’m not in the “in crowd” of photographers, nor do I want to be. I’m still learning. I still make mistakes…. I will always make mistakes. Even the “pros” make mistakes. What I’m trying to say is, I don’t care that I’m not one of the “cool kids”. I am me. Nor am I trying to be someone I’m not. I’m on my own journey and I’ll get there someday.
I have my regulars whom I love with every ounce of my being. I appreciate them more than they will ever know. But, I LOVE the newbies too. They find me through word of mouth, through random Google searches, and me being out and about. People book me because I’m me. People also DON’T book me, because I’m me. I’m loud, kinda zany, kinda cooky. I love natural light. Anything natural – natural light, poses, expressions, colors, yeah, natural. I’m a sucker for sweet things, no not chocolate, more like Starbursts and Skittles and Cherry Garcia Ben and Jerry’s. I love my cameras and they fit perfectly in my hands like they were meant to be there all along. They are my other children. I am silliness and ridiculousness but I am snotty and moody all at the same time. I have an awful poker face and can’t lie to save my life. And my family, they are my life. As chaotic as we are, that’s how it is. We are nuts, completely loose screws, and I love it.
I love to help people. My passion is people and making them smile. I won’t give away any of my big things that I do because it isn’t about that but I love to do things for organizations and people that are doing good things. I LOVE doing things for mamas to be, mamas of multiple babies, mamas who need a shoulder, any mama. And, I LOVE BABIES! (shocker, I know). So, if given the opportunity to photograph Moms and Babies, I AM ALL OVER IT! I am a story teller and I love telling people’s stories. Weddings, families, people, friends, children, I love it all.
I know, I’m wandering past the point of the quote but only sort of. I’m full of emotion lately. Full of feelings I didn’t know I had. Physically, I’m getting into shape instead of the shape ROUND. Eating healthier, exercising, and living wholly. With a side of mozzarella sticks and a Pepsi from time to time. Mentally I’m SPENT. Nursing school is no frackin’ joke. I live, breathe, bleed, and sweat nursing school. I have no time for friends which is so sad since they are the ones who ground me. But, I do have a few friends who get it and who still love me anyway. Knowing that when I graduate, I’ll still be the same Heather, and have more time (maybe?). They send me little notes saying they are proud of me and that they love me. They push me when I need pushing without me even saying I need a swift kick in the pants. They are my friends. There are others that don’t get it, and that saddens me. But, in the end, I have the important people in the palm of my hand and they are my heart and soul. Some have been in my life for a long time, others just recently. And there are a select few who fill my heart with so much love, support, passion, and drive, I can probably write a blog just on that….. Maybe I will. Maybe there will be a photo shoot with those peeps…. who knows.
I’m going to wrap this up for today…. there will be a part II. I just needed to write today. I know, this was totally random but it is where I am lately. Pieces of me all over the place. Completely scattered. So much good, a little bad, some fear and anger, but so much love and kindness. I am me, not anyone else. Take it or leave it, I am me. ❤
Now, how about some pictures! A few teasers for upcoming posts….